Raising Children in Faith Amid Modern Distractions — Jurisprudential Answers — Miscellaneous Issues, Vol. 3

Ahmed al-Hasan Response:

Proper upbringing is a duty that both parents bear. With regard to play, watching television, using the internet, computer games and similar things, parents must supervise their children and keep them away from corrupting things. For example, if a child goes online to play, this should be under the parents' supervision. But children should not be prevented from playing or from living their childhood, because doing so will affect them when they grow up. Some games are educational. A child can be directed and encouraged toward useful games; for example, design games, geometric puzzle-solving games and similar activities. Many children have an aptitude for these, and such activities can substantially develop their mental abilities. For adolescents they can also provide a means of occupying them so that they do not think about other corrupting matters. Children and adolescents can also be taught how to research in order to learn and develop their abilities. Parents can assign them topics to research—scientific subjects, matters connected with everyday life, history and so forth. As for religious matters, do not burden a child with more than, for example, joining the parents in congregational prayer. Then, little by little, encourage the child to pray two rak'ahs alone and supplicate in them for a particular need. When the child experiences the fulfillment of a need, the child's connection with God will be strengthened and faith will gradually become rooted in the heart. Remind them of God in everything. When they quarrel with one another, say to one of them, for example, ‘Forgive your brother or sister and God will make you like the prophets, God's blessings be upon them.’ In this way you revive good character within them and at the same time encourage them to seek perfection. If one of them does something good—for example, prays two rak'ahs or performs an act of obedience—congratulate the child and say, ‘Well done. God will give to you, bless you and mention you before His angels.’ You can also establish a daily program, perhaps half an hour or an hour, for memorizing short surahs of the Quran. You read and they repeat after you, and day by day they will memorize the surahs. For children over ten years old, try to organize their week. For example, designate three or four days on which play is not permitted. Even if they are allowed to use the internet or occupy themselves with something besides schoolwork, let it be for researching scientific or historical subjects, reading a book, reading material related to their studies, reading stories about the prophets and Imams, and similar things. With attention and organization of their time, you will obtain a good result. With neglect, they may deviate and you may lose them, and then your loss will be great. Unfortunately, many Arab parents living outside Arab countries wrong their children by neglecting to teach them the Arabic language, reading and writing, even though parents can set aside an hour of their time every day to teach their children Arabic, which they need in order to read their religion and learn its details. I do not think this is difficult in an age in which books and educational curricula are available on the internet and can be accessed easily.